"There are moments when you feel alone."

Young, handsome and successful: the Elevator Boys embody exactly what many young men aspire to be. Nevertheless, they too are familiar with feelings of loneliness and the pressure to conform to ideals of masculinity. In this interview, they explain what helps the boy band cope with loneliness and how this relates to vulnerability and images of masculinity.

by Tara Yakar

03.10.2025

 The Elevator Boys (from left to right): Bene Schulz, Tim Schäcker, Jacob Rott, Luis Freitag and Julien Brown. In 2021, they became world famous with their TikTok clips and flirtatious glances at the camera. They have also been making music for two years. Photo: Johannes Kapol

Masculinity in transition

From provider to loser: there are countless opinions circulating about the role of men in society. Men and vulnerability? For many, this still seems incompatible. Although more and more men are able to show their feelings openly, many still encounter rejection – unless they can compensate for their vulnerability with attractiveness. In this interview, the Elevator Boys talk about how traditional images of masculinity have shaped their perception of weakness and how attractiveness can be linked to this.

Jacob, Bene, Tim, Julien and Luis, you repeatedly emphasise your close and trusting friendship. Do you still feel lonely sometimes?

Julien: Yes, that happens sometimes, but it's also totally normal. Whether you have a huge circle of friends or just a few really close friends, there are moments when you feel alone. Especially in a world where so much happens digitally, this feeling can sometimes creep up on you without you even noticing.

What helps you in such moments?

Luis: Sometimes it's enough to just hang out together without having to say much. But if something is on your mind, it really helps to talk about it. What we've learned is that bottling things up doesn't help at all! Communication isn't always easy, but it almost always makes things better.

The Elevator Boys also sing openly about their emotions and feelings in their songs.

How exactly does your friendship help reduce feelings of loneliness?

Jacob: We travel together, have lived together in a shared flat and know each other inside out. You just know that there is someone who understands you, even if you can't explain everything. Many people wish they had a group of friends like this.

What advice can you give to people who long for deep friendships but don't know how to build such connections?

Tim: There are so many niches on social media that everyone can find their community. And now there are also many formats that bring shared interests from the online world back into real life. I think the best way to meet new people is through shared interests. Whether it's running, pottery or something else entirely. To build deep friendships, it's especially important to show your feelings and vulnerability: something that many men still equate with weakness.

What message do you have for men who think showing emotions is a sign of weakness?

Bene: Strength doesn't mean always having everything under control, but rather knowing when you need help and admitting it. Those who can show weakness understand that it's not a contradiction to strength, but part of it.

Has your own image of masculinity changed over the years?

Jacob: Yes, definitely. We've learned a lot more about masculinity in recent years – partly because the discourse in society has changed. Things that used to be considered ‘masculine’ are now being questioned. We are still a long way from the end of the learning process.

What triggered this change?

Julien: A lot of it came from travelling and working with different people. But I think it's also enough to simply broaden your horizons – to engage with topics you don't know about or listen to people who have completely different realities in life. You don't have to travel around the world to do that.

What do you think needs to change so that men can talk more about their feelings?

Luis: I definitely grew up with superhero and action films where men were always strong, loud and invulnerable. You see the same thing in football clubs. It's more about pushing through than having deep conversations about feelings. You learn pretty early on that you should show strength, not insecurity. I think it helps a lot that there are so many more role models today who show that there is another way. And: practice. It may feel strange or awkward at first to talk about feelings, but eventually it becomes normal. And it definitely makes a lot of things easier.

That's exactly what you do: you show yourselves openly and talk about your insecurities. At the same time, however, many people perceive you as the ideal image of masculinity: good-looking, successful, self-confident. Do you have to be able to afford vulnerability?

Bene: I totally understand where those thoughts come from. The entertainment industry on social media thrives on showing perfect images. And dream worlds and escapism [the need to escape reality] can also be a lot of fun. But of course, no one leads a perfect life. I think it helps a lot if you don't see masculinity as a question of appearance or popularity, but as an attitude. For me, it's about responsibility, values and respect for yourself and others. Showing vulnerability doesn't mean being weak. On the contrary, it shows strength when you stand by yourself. Even the parts that aren't perfect. It has nothing to do with ‘being able to afford it’. It's a decision.

The rest of the article can be found in the free magazine  Gemeinsam Einsam (Together Alone), which was produced as part of the ‘Spotlight Jugend’ (Spotlight Youth) ideas competition. The ideas competition was organised by Jugendpresse Deutschland e.V. (Youth Press Germany) with funding from the Federal Ministry of Education, Family, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth.